What it means to become: a conversation on ageing, motherhood and showing up for yourself

Who were you ten years ago, and what would she think of you now?

Bec: Ten years ago I would have described myself as fairly driven and ambitious, but certainly less confident in my abilities. Definitely a big people pleaser and an over-thinker. I think she would be impressed to be honest, and perhaps a little surprised at how much her definition of success and happiness has changed.

Nic: Ten years ago I was pretty footloose and carefree. Newly married, living in an apartment, very much on our own clock. We were immersed in everything we loved: fashion, food, wine, travel. Life felt simple. It felt like we had all the time in the world. If she looked at me now, I think she'd be daunted by the level of responsibility. But equally, I think she'd be proud of what I've achieved, both as a mother and in my career.

Did becoming a mother change who you are?

Bec:  I think having my second child changed me more than my first. I was still holding on to parts of my older self during my first experience because the whole thing felt so new. I think twelve years ago, especially working in a corporate environment, I didn't feel like I had permission to change. But gradually being a mother has changed my perspective on what success and happiness mean to me. Even though my day to day is chaos, it has made me want to slow down and appreciate where I'm at. It has also forced me to take better care of myself, especially how I manage stress and my energy.

Nic:  Becoming a mother hasn't changed who I am, but it has shifted my priorities. It's made me take life and my health more seriously, because I want to be around for a long time for my children. It's pushed me harder to achieve more, because I want to be a good example for them. And it's taught me patience and selflessness in a way nothing else has.

What does it actually take to build something from scratch, in your 40s?

Bec:  When you're building something you're really passionate about, you have to be okay playing the long game. And that requires a ton of patience and resilience. Just like parenting, there isn't really a playbook. And you have to be okay with that. You just have to trust yourself and your judgement, and know that you will figure it out.

Nic:  It's made me more resilient and more comfortable with uncertainty. It's taught me to have more patience, because you're often working at the pace of others, not your own. And it's definitely made me trust my instincts more, because there's only so much advice you can take before it starts to cloud your decisions.

                     

"You just have to trust yourself and your judgement, and know that you will figure it out."  — Bec

                     

What does getting older actually mean to you, not the cultural version, your version?

Nic:  Ageing, to me, means living. Experiencing, learning, loving and changing over time. It's why we're all here. And if you're lucky enough, you get to do it with good health and happiness along the way. If you didn't want to age, you'd be stuck in time, and I couldn't think of anything worse.

Bec:  I used to worry about superficial aspects of ageing. But at 45, I'm genuinely grateful and content with my age. I love the stage of life I'm in, and I really wouldn't want to go back.

What do you want the women around you to know about getting older, that nobody told you?

Bec:  Getting older is really not as big a limitation as society has led us to believe. Nic and I started this business in our 40s, which I never thought I would do. But it's never too late to do anything, and that's really liberating. Your potential isn't determined by your age, and I wish I had known this earlier.

Nic:  I want them to feel good about it, and unapologetic. Not hesitant to say their age, or feel like it's something to downplay. Just owning it, fully. I know I am.

                     

This is what Self Serums is built on. Not a promise to stop time, but a belief that how you move through it is up to you. We will keep having these conversations. We hope you will keep reading them.